If you’re thinking about using synthetic urine to pass your next a drug test then you are faced with a world of choices. Looking online, you’ll see about 20 different brands that have years of positive reviews, and years of negative reviews. So how do you choose the best kit from that lot?
Well, in this quick guide, I’m going to talk you through the best synthetic brands on the market. I’m basing this on my own knowledge from researching what they need to contain to pass a urine sample drug test, the tools they come with to help you pass one, and the online track record they have. All that, plus anecdotal evidence from friends and people I trust online.
I’ll tell you what a good product should contain, how to use it, and give you some tips on making sure that you do everything you can to make sure that the urine sample gets passed as valid. Additionally, I’ve completed detailed synthetic urine reviews of the top five products you can buy, explain why I think they are worth considering.
Why Use Fake Urine And Not Cleansing Drinks?
There are several ways that you can pass a drug test when you are using drugs:
- You can do a natural detox. This is where you don’t take drugs anymore until the drug metabolites have exited your body. For most drugs, this will happen within a week, but if you are a chronic user, especially a chronic weed smoker, then it could take several weeks for you to be naturally clean. You can accelerate a natural detox using high-quality detox pills. These can half the time it takes for you to get naturally clean. So if it would usually take you three weeks to get clean, you could be clean in as little as a week, maybe a little more. But it’s still an investment in time and a change of lifestyle. It depends on how important the drug test is to you, and how many risks you want to take.
- You can use a detox drink. This is a powerful drink that flushes out the toxins and maintains the urine balance. It then gives you a small window of opportunity, usually four hours or less, during which you can submit a urine sample that doesn’t contain drug metabolites. But it’s slightly riskier because it’s got a higher chance of failing.
- You can use synthetic urine. The joy of this is that you don’t have to submit your own urine at all. So the only risk is in the temperature being outside the range that human urine is when it exits the body, or that when they check the sample that they spot chemicals that should be present or aren’t, or there is an imbalance that isn’t natural.
What Does The Best Synthetic Urine Products Contain?
The best synthetic urine brands always contain a bare minimum of ingredients that mimic the contents of human urine. On top of that, they must have other characteristics that could be checked for:
- Uric acid
- Must look, smell, and froth like urine
- Must be within the correct specific gravity range
- Must be within the correct pH range
In addition to all that, the more complex the better, with the top brands of best fake urine having more chemicals that are present in human urine than just those very basic ones listed above.
Plus, the sample mustn’t contain biocides. Basically, preservatives. A lot of synthetic urine brands contain a biocide that helps to preserve them, giving them a longer shelf life.
The problem is that it’s rumored that the big testing companies like Labcorp have realized this, and have added that into the validity checks they do. Think about it, how easy is it to just check for one artificial chemical, and then rule out about 75% of the fake urine samples submitted? So in my opinion, it’s definitely happening.
This means that the top five fake pee brands mustn’t contain detectable artificial preservatives on top of mimicking human urine as closely as possible.
How To Hide Urine For A Drug Test
So what we’re talking about here is a synthetic urine belt, where the fake urine is distributed around a belt that is attached to your waist. It’s kept warm by little heat pads that are attached behind the urine in the belt, and it’s then dispensed at the right time through a tap or prosthetic penis.
By doing this, you can assume a natural position and natural urine flow into a cup so that somebody who was in the room for an observed drug test would not be suspicious if you get it right.
Let’s just talk through what I mean by an observed drug test. You cannot be directly looked at. They can’t stand there and look at your penis while you are urinating, or be looking through your legs if you are a woman.
But what they can do is be in the room with you looking away, or out of the corner of their eye at a distance, so that it makes it far harder to submit a fake sample. It’s a strong deterrent. The only way around this is smuggling the urine in a belt, and dispensing it through a fake penis or urine bag dispensing tap to submit a fake sample in a natural position.
The Different Types Of Synthetic Urine Belts You Can Use
There are basically two types of fake urine Belt you can use:
- A synthetic urine belt with a tap and pipe dispensing system
- Synthetic urine belt with a prosthetic penis dispenser
Both have their own pros and cons. So let’s take a quick look at each in detail.
The synthetic urine belt with a tap-in pipe dispensing system literally has a clear plastic piece of pipe coming out the front of the belt. On the end is a small dispensing tap. You twist the tap, or very occasionally squeeze it rather than having the tap twist or unlock a clip, and it lets urine out in what is hopefully a natural flow. As long as the person observing you can’t see where it’s coming from, it looks like a natural urine flow, up to a point.
The second type of fake urine belt has a prosthetic penis. That acts as the dispenser, and when you squeeze it urine comes out, so it’s turned on and off by squeezing or releasing the fake plastic dong. This is less risky if you are indirectly observed because it looks like a penis. However, they don’t look that realistic and if somebody does get a good look at it, their suspicions will definitely be massively raised.
What Are The Issues With Using A Fake Bladder For A Drug Test?
The only time you would really need to use a fake bladder for a drug test is if you were facing a supervised drug test. Someone will be in the room, but you won’t be directly looked at, but you do need to be in a natural position, with a natural flow, and you obviously can’t mess around with bottles of fake urine in your hand.
The issue is obviously being observed and having suspicions aroused. As I’ve said, you cannot be directly looked at, that’s illegal, but somebody can be in the room, and they can look indirectly, which puts the pressure on you to not be doing anything dodgy.
If you can smoothly do it, submit the sample in a natural position, with a good quality fake dong or urine belt, then you can get away with it, but with a switched on phlebotomist in the room you could get spotted.
Monkey Whizz Synthetic Urine Belt Instructions
Let’s give you an idea of how a synthetic urine belt works for drug test by telling you how to use the Monkey Whizz synthetic urine belt, and the Monkey Dong product which is very similar:
- The Monkey Whizz synthetic belt comes with the urine prepacked into a small pouch is around it. When you undo the small clip attached to the homes coming out of the belt urine comes out, and you then click it back against the host to stop the flow. This can be problematic but as long as you’re not directly being observed then a small mess won’t matter. With the Monkey Dong, it’s powdered urine that you have to mix up and then inject into the belt when you need it. This is messier to prepare, but on the upside, it means you can use water to practice in advance.
- Both Monkey Dong and the Monkey Whizz synthetic belt come with small heat pads. You tuck them in behind the belt in the pouches attached to it and they will help to keep the sample within the correct temperature range.
- You then put on baggy clothes, that will easily disguise the fact you got the belt on. Try and get the waistband to sit above the incognito belt, so if somebody pats you down they won’t feel the ridges of the belt under your clothing.
- You’ll then release the tap on the Monkey Whizz belt to let the urine out. Try and do this when you can sense that the person observing you is not really looking. You’ll then have to clip it back together to stop the flow. With the Monkey Dong, it’s simply a case of squeezing the prosthetic to open the valve, and then letting it go to close it afterward.
The problem with using these belts for me is not just how it looks if seen, it’s also about the flow. With the Monkey Dong, you can simply release the squeeze on it to stop the flow, or release it a little bit to lower the flow. This variation is more natural.
But with the Monkey Whizz synthetic urine belt, once you unclip that valve it comes out at a steady rate until you click the valve up when it immediately stops. As everybody knows, that’s not how urine comes out, and that constant flow with an instant start and stop could attract suspicion, depending on how close they are to being able to potentially hear it.
Important To Prepare Before The Test
Before I reveal the top brands, let me tell you briefly how you can successfully use any of them:
- Make sure the temperature is within the right range before you leave for the lab. Often you’ll need a microwave, and for most brands, you’ll use a heating pad to keep the sample at the right temperature. However, the top two brands of synthetic urine don’t require a heating pad at all, which makes them more reliable.
- Before you go into the lab make sure you check the sample again. A top tip if you are using a synthetic urine product that requires a heating pad, is always to carry a flask of hot water with you as well. That way, if the heat pad has failed, or the temperatures drop below the minimum legal requirement (between 90°F and 100°F), you can simply dip the sample into the hot water, or pour it over it, to raise it.
So the key to using synthetic urine successfully, apart from choosing the most complex formula you can, is to make sure it’s submitted within the right temperature range. If you don’t do that, it doesn’t matter how good the synthetic urine is.
Heat pads are good, as long as the quality is good enough to be reliable. However, the first two choices in my top five brands don’t use a heatpad at all, and I’ll cover why within the reviews that now follow.
Best Synthetic Urine Brands For A Lab Test
I’ve written the top five synthetic urine reviews in order of quality and reliability, taking into account the quality of both the fake urine itself and the heating method supplied with it.
I’m going to start with the number one best synthetic urine you will find on the market. It’s also the number one most expensive brand, which I want to make clear at the start of this synthetic urine review.
Quick Luck is a premium quality brand from the reputable company Clear Choice, which will cost you $100, making it $20 more expensive than the second most expensive product.
But what you are getting for your money is the most complex formula of synthetic urine you can buy. Not only does it contain all of the chemicals we’ve talked about, but it contains a total of 14 biological markers found in human urine, meaning that you are very unlikely to fail any validity tests.
On top of that, it doesn’t use a heatpad. A good quality heatpad is fine, but they can fail, emit an irregular heat, and also be bulky to hide when they are strapped against the sample of urine. But you still get a pair of high-quality heatpads included in the kit, just in case you want to use them instead.
But primarily, Quick Luck uses heat activator powder rather than a heatpad. This is literally a powder that you tap into the sample, usually, a third of the total supplied will be enough. Then agitate it until it dissolves, and watch the temperature rise on the temperature strip.
When you get to the lab testing facility, you don’t need hot water or to worry about the heatpad failing. If the temperature has cooled, or if you don’t want to even bother heating it before you leave, just tap in the heat activator powder, and get the temperature up to around 100°F before you walk in.
Quick Luck is superb. Just like the second choice, Sub Solution, it even looks and froths like the real thing as well. It’s definitely highly recommended, and if you want to pass a drug test, one hundred dollars is not a lot of money.
Also from Clear Choice, Sub Solution has been the number one selling brand of synthetic urine for many years. It’s expensive, though costing $80, which is double the price of most other brands of synthetic urine kits out there.
However, just like the number one urine Quick Luck, Sub Solution is also very complex. Not quite as complex in the formula as Quick Luck, but just like every Clear Choice products it’s updated every year.
You’ll also get heat activator powder rather than a heatpad. So you get that granular control over the temperature of your sample alongside being able to submit a sample of fake urine that is close to human urine as it is possible to realistically get.
So there’s a good reason why Sub Solution has been the number one brand for several years, and why it has only been surpassed by its a big brother in the Clear Choice brand. You can order both Sub Solution and Quick Luck from the manufacturer’s official website.
The great news is that Quick Fix, the third-best fake pee brand, costs half the price of Sub Solution, around $40, and that’s for the larger 3oz size called Quick Fix Plus.
The downside is that the complexity of the formula is nowhere near as good as Sub Solution or Quick Luck. You’re getting the basics and little more. But for a basic pre-employment drug test, that’s going to be enough.
I’ll be honest, I don’t think it even looks 100% like urine, and other people online agree it does look slightly green in the light, rather than amber. But the bottom line is that it’s good enough.
You’ll get a good quality heatpad as well, which omits a steady heat for several hours. Take a look online, you’ll see plenty of people saying they passed with Quick Luck. I would bet a lot of the people who have failed using Quick Fix have just messed up on getting the sample submitted within the right temperature range.
So look, this is budget stuff. But for a pre-employment drug test, especially something like a retail job where you not going to get that much invested in your testing, it’s probably going to be complex enough to pass the validity checks. Always buy Quick Fix from trusted webshops.
Monkey Whizz is a product from Serious Monkey Bizzness. Please get around the stupid name for a moment to look at the quality of urine, which is what I had to do.
The first thing to say that Monkey Whizz is not a single product. It’s a range of four products that contain synthetic urine, and only one of them is actually called Monkey Whizz. The actual basic product that just contains premixed pee and a heating pad is called Monkey Flask and costs around $39. Monkey Whizz contains heat pads, synthetic urine, and strap on the belt with a dispenser system.
In terms of the complexity of the formula, Monkey Whizz urine is probably about the same as Quick Fix. Not advanced, but good enough. The evidence suggests that people are passing using this, even right now, so it doesn’t contain biocide, and it’s obviously a good enough formula to fool the lab.
On top of that, for me, it looks very much like human urine, even though it doesn’t really froth like it. But it’s good enough to pass a cursory look during the validity tests.
So it’s a budget brand, comparable to Quick Fix, and just maybe with the way it looks, it’s even a little bit more realistic as well. But despite the name, it is one of the best brands available.
You can order Monkey Whizz products here.
Test Clear – Powdered Urine Kit
Test Clear is another company that is best known for the Toxin Rid detox pill range, a very powerful range of detoxification pills that can help double the speed of natural detox. What’s little known is that they also make a high-quality powdered urine kit.
Test Clear powdered urine kit is a little more expensive than the other budget choices, costing $50, which probably makes it the middle ground choice between Quick Luck and Sub Solution, and Monkey Whizz/Quick Fix.
The product is very high quality, more comparable to Sub Solution than Quick Fix. On top of that, the heat pad is innovative as well. It’s thin and flexible, and once you activate it, you can peel off a piece of paper to reveal an adhesive strip, which allows you to then stick the heat pad to the sample container by wrapping it around it.
So you don’t have the problem with other brands, like monkey Flask and Quick Fix, where you have a heat pad, a separate flask of urine, and the two are attached with an elastic band, or tape if you decide to use something more secure. It’s a step up in terms of ease of transport and concealment, which although a small and easy thing to do, is a good innovation.