Let’s be upfront and say it’s not going to be easy to regain custody of your children after significant meth abuse that has led to the intervention of the courts.
They will be looking for a firm, consistent, evidence over a period of time that you have not only kicked the habit, but are in the right frame of mind, and have the resources, to be a parent again.
But there are things you can do to increase your chances of the courts and other authorities looking at you favorably, and working with you to try and get a better conclusion.
Unless there is an abusive household, children are better with their parents because they will thrive.
Let’s now take a look at the best ways to regain custody after drug abuse, so we can help you stand a better chance of getting at least some access to, and custody of, your children.
1. Stay Calm And Think Rationally
The first thing to do is always try to stay calm and think rationally. The more anxious and uptight you get, the angrier you are, the more that will show when you are being assessed and talked to.
If you can’t demonstrate you are calm and rational in this situation, it can be a sign you aren’t fully out of the woods, and it can mean that they are dubious you could be positive parenting children.
On top of that, it will help you to think better and come up with some obvious solutions that you might miss if your head is clouded with irrationality.
Plus, you also have to remember that the calmer and in control you are, the less likely you are to relapse and slip back into old habits.
2. Assess Your Current Situation Honestly
Assessing your current situation with honesty is the best way to get started.
That means looking at every aspect of your life. Financially, what’s the situation? Where you live, the people you associate with. How distant are you now drug taking and the people related to that?
You have to assess the danger you are in of relapsing or demonstrating to people assessing you that you aren’t in a good place physically or emotionally.
So sit down and take a look at yourself with honesty. The more honest you are, the more clearheaded you will be and the better situations you will make.
If you’re really struggling, then you could try some kratom. It’s not a hard drug, and it will chill you out, calm you down, and help you to relax.
3. Join Every Program You Can
It’s as simple as that, join every program you can. If it’s alcohol, Alcoholics Anonymous. Whatever you are on, find the programs that can help you. If you can find more than one, brilliant, do them all.
You need to do this for two reasons. First, for yourself. You need to get off this stuff and as fast as possible. The support professionals and other people will help you do that.
The second though, it demonstrates to the courts, probation, social services, child protection, whoever, that you are doing everything within your power to get off meth (or whatever drugs/alcohol).
Also, ask these people. All of the above, say you want to get on the programs you want to get off this and get your kids back whatever offer you that can help, make sure you take it.
4. Work On Provability
You must work on proving that you have done everything you can to get better, and are working towards that goal at all times.
That means proving it. Make sure you are joining programs and talking to people who can verify your progress. Professionals, people who will vote for you.
Make sure that whenever you can, you write things down, publicize things, talk about them to the right people, and make every noise possible to prove you are on the right road.
On the downside, if you did relapse, you might face a drug test. But don’t worry, there are ways around this. You don’t want to do this all the time, but when you are in such a desperate situation and want your kids back, then it’s better than it never happening.
You could use fake urine, as that is the best way to pass and administered drug test that isn’t observed.
You could also use a detox drink if it is observed. These will get you clean for a few hours. They aren’t cheap, but they definitely work.
Or if you have relapsed, you could get properly clean with a natural detox and accelerate with detox pills. That way, you know you are on the right road again and your body can’t let you down.
5. Work With The Other Parent If Possible
You’ll need the other parent to vouch for you. No matter what the state of your relationship with them, you need to get them onside so that they are receptive to taking some custody back.
If they have full custody the moment, then in working with the courts and other services, they are crucial to allowing you time with the children and eventually granting some legal custody back.
So make sure you get yourself clean, and you sit down and talk to them to show them how serious you are and that the children are going to be safe with you.
6. Be Open And Honest
Being an addict can mean you get used to lying. It’s time to stop and be open and honest. You won’t get your kids back and keep them if you are lying to yourself and others. They will notice, and it will count against you.
7. Provide A Safe Environment To Build From
You can’t get your kids back if you haven’t got a safe environment for them. If you haven’t got one already, you will need to create one.
You’ll need to make sure that none of the old people are around. Get rid of them all. It removes temptation, and mentally removes you from the old ways.
Decorate, make it good, and make sure that the people who need to know I’ve told you are doing this.
If you haven’t got the money to do it, look at family and friends, or anything else you can do. Unfortunately, if you can’t provide a home then you won’t be able to get custody back so speak to your local authority and any support you can.
8. Complete Any Court Contingencies
Make sure you complete all Court contingencies 100%. Show you are keen and make sure that they are aware that you are fully on board with the process of change. Document things and show positivity.
9. Ditch All Old Acquaintances And Situations
You will never make the change unless you ditch all your old acquaintances and situations, otherwise the temptation will be too strong, and it looks bad to any observers.
Don’t go to the places you used to go to. You don’t want to be seen there. It’s the same with the people. Being seen with the same people will get noticed if you are being observed.
To truly make a fresh start, it means getting away from every temptation and all links to your old drug or alcohol life.
If you really are struggling, then kratom could be an alternative to heavy drugs. It’s not traceable on drug tests, and far easier to control. Kratom calm you down, give you some focus, and chill you out.
10. Have Honest Conversations With Your Kids
You’ll never get custody if you don’t get your kids on board. If they’ve seen the horrible side of your addiction then they may not be keen to get back with you at all.
You’ll need to take baby steps and build bridges to get them on board. You’ll have to show you are clean, and you’ll have to make them feel safe and happy.
Just a couple of hours of building bridges can be better than screaming to have your kids back. If they aren’t on board with this, then how the hell can you expect anyone else to be?
11. Is It Temporary Or Permanent: What Exactly Is Your Situation?
You’ll be amazed how many people aren’t actually really aware of the legal situation they are in. Sometimes it can be pure confusion as they are trying to recover, or they are still on the effects of whatever they are addicted to when everything happens fast.
You need to know if your situation is temporary or permanent, and exactly what the custody situation is. Get some proper assistance so that you know what you have to do and what you are up against. Don’t ever make assumptions.
12. Your Entire Life Should Be Now About Proving Stability
Everything I’m saying here is about proving that you are clean and consistently going to stay clean.
It’s about showing that you have stability. It shows that you are going to go backward, and that you are pushing forwards all the time. You need to shout from the rooftops all the good things that happen, you need to be in contact with the right people, and you have to be seen to be doing the right things.
Get home, get clean, and shout about all the good things are happening in relation to that. Build bridges with your kids and the other parent where possible.
By putting all that together, it can still be a long road, but it is possible to not only get yourself straight, to get off meth or whatever, but also to get some access to your kids back.