By Coach Meg
Wellcoaches Corp.
Even as Laura's spirit shines brighter, there is also a shadow - the sense of embarrassment she feels about her smoking habit. Our "shadows," as named by psychologist Carl Jung, dampen our spirits and our ability to fully embrace ourselves. This is not because our shadows are necessarily "bad," but because we allow ourselves to feel so badly about them. We experience overwhelming feelings of guilt and disappointment, causing us to keep parts of ourselves secret.
Behaviors that create feelings of shame are often called "guilty pleasures." Why? Because they are usually not healthy for us physically, but give us great emotional pleasure - or vice versa. Laura, for example, described the many emotional benefits of smoking, including finding it fun and an opportunity to be mindful. Someone who indulges in over eating may recognize the sensual pleasure in the moment or the benefit of taking a time out from life's strains while noshing on a treat.
When we are facing our shadows, the approach should not be a showdown, but a call for understanding and honoring our needs.
After all, there are no shadows without light. In Laura's case, her shadow and guilty pleasure also has some important benefits. It will be difficult for Laura to quit smoking if she doesn't recognize the needs that smoking meets, and find new ways to generate similar benefits.
Next week, we'll continue to explore the adventure of change...
To listen to a recording of this 50 minute coaching session,
click hereMargaret Moore, also known as “Coach Meg,” is CEO and founder of Wellcoaches Corp. in Wellesley, MA