Listen to Coach Meg & Mary Beth here:
http://www.wellcoach.com/flash/cm022009_1.html
http://www.wellcoach.com/flash/cm022009_2.html
http://www.wellcoach.com/flash/cm022009_1.mp3
http://www.wellcoach.com/flash/cm022009_2.mp3
Background
At the beginning of the year I asked coaches in the
Wellcoaches community to submit a list of ten ways in which they want to thrive in the upcoming year. The coach who submitted the most compelling ideas would win a series of coaching sessions with me to further develop their ideas and create plans for making it happen. Mary Beth won the coaching sessions and, in the first session, created a list of her top priorities as well as her wellness vision. In her session, we began conversation around how to make her vision become a reality in her day-to-day life.
What Mary is Putting Up With
In our coaching session Mary Beth mentioned a list of things that she has wanted to deal with for a long time - things like not having a light bulb in the laundry room, clutter in the garage, and not having ever learned how to type. This “to do” represented the things that Mary Beth has been tolerating in her life.
Defining Tolerations
The dictionary definition for tolerate is “to put up with, to endure.” Tolerations are those things in our lives that we allow to be, even when they interrupt our flow and our ability to be our best selves. A colleague of mine compares this to the noise of a window air conditioner – after a while you don’t notice that the noise is there…but it still is. Like the air conditioner whose noise interferes with the possibility of quiet and calm in your home, tolerations impede our capacity for internal quiet and calm.
Eliminating Tolerations
Before diving into action to rid yourself of tolerations, here are a few suggestions to get you thinking:
1. What are yours? First get clear about your tolerations. What are the things that annoy you – constantly? What are those things that, when they happen, make you want to scream…and you still don’t do anything about it? Consider things like the picture on the wall with the cracked glass, the drawer with plastic storage container with no matching lids, or the broken toilet seat that pinches you every time you sit down – just to name a few examples.
2. Prioritize. Which are the most draining to you? Which have the greatest impact on your sense of peace and calm? And, consider the cost of not eliminating the toleration – which have the highest cost?
3. Consider the payoff. What will eliminating your biggest tolerations enable you to do/be/have? What can serve as the compelling motivation for making the change?
4. Find a buddy. Ask someone you trust to help you get started, either by helping you with the list, or by cheering you on as you go.
5. Now, get started! Start to build your muscle by eliminating one toleration each day. And, be sure to pay attention to how you feel after it’s gone – that’s the sweet spot!
Margaret Moore, also known as “Coach Meg,” is CEO and founder of Wellcoaches Corp. in Wellesley, MA and can be reached by email at:
coachmeg[at]wellcoaches.com
http://www.coachmeg.com
http://www.wellcoaches.com
http://www.harvardcoaching.org