Laura Reveals the Secret - Benefits, Confidence and Extremes

Coach Meg
Wellcoaches Corp.

Weighing the Benefits
This was a useful strategy for Laura. Instead of encouraging more guilt by focusing on the reasons not to smoke, we turned to why she is smoking. When Laura looked at the benefits of smoking, she was able to recognize the cigarette as a vehicle to some feelings and experiences that are important to her. In the end, making changes can be less about ridding ourselves of what we don't like and more about adding more of what we do like by integrating the positive aspects of those behaviors into our lives.

Measuring Importance and Confidence
Another way to expand one's thinking about change is to use a scale, starting with the question, "On a scale of 1-10, how important is this change to you?" "Secondly, asking "On a scale of 1-10, how confident are you that if you made this change, you could do it? Why?" And, if for example, your answer was in the lower range of numbers, you might follow up with "What would it take for you to go from a 4 to a 5?" Just answering these questions can generate some powerful change talk. Laura said that she believed, with coaching, she would be 80% confident in her ability to set a date to stop smoking.

Going to the Extreme
Lastly, extreme questions can be helpful. "Suppose you continue on as you have been, without changing. What do you imagine are the worst things that might happen to you?" "What are the best results you could imagine if you make a change?" "If you were completely successful in making the changes you want, how would things be different?" These are questions that are not laden with judgment, but challenge us to think bigger about our potential change, considering the worst and the best of possibilities.

Using these tools, Laura concluded that beating herself up about smoking isn't helpful or useful. She was able to move toward forgiving herself for the choice while beginning to make specific plans toward the change.

To listen to a recording of this 50 minute coaching session, click here:

Margaret Moore, also known as “Coach Meg,” is CEO and founder of Wellcoaches Corp. in Wellesley, MA