"Good Grief" - What's So Good About It?

By Coach Meg
Wellcoaches Corp.

Pat, experiencing both the excitement and stress of a major life transition, noticed that she wasn't spending enough time grieving. Good grief! Why would she want to do that? Because grief can be good - here's why:

To Love is to Grieve
Grief is an expression of love. In Journey to Radiant Health, Prema Kay describes grieving as "testimony to love. It is a sacred, dignified and honorable way to express the distress of loss and relieve deep-seated pain and long-standing suffering. Grieving gives your heart a voice to praise that which has been lost." In leaving a two-decade long career, Pat is praising her colleagues, community and contributions through her grieving. Grief, a universal expression, is built into our sensory systems. We grieve because of our connection to others.

Grief and Gratitude
Grief calls us to pay attention to what has been and what is. For example, when we cry our defensive thoughts are overcome by the reality of what we feel, bringing our full attention to the present. Mindfulness, or noticing what is, is one of the most influential ways to develop gratitude. After experiencing a loss, we move from grieving what is gone to being grateful for what is left.

Grief is Healthy
It drains energy to try not to be sad - and it simply prolongs the grief process. In the long term, when we don't allow our bodies to experience the healing properties of grief, the physical consequences can include things like obesity, difficulty breathing, digestive problems and stunted emotion. On the other hand, allowing ourselves to grieve (such as crying) can boost the immune system and release tension.

Pat's Process
Pat made a promise to take care of herself by allowing herself to grieve; to sit with it, letting her emotions rise to the surface and, eventually settle again into gratitude for it all.

Next week, a look at how to experience good grief...

To listen to a recording of this 40 minute coaching session, click here:

Margaret Moore, also known as “Coach Meg,” is CEO and founder of Wellcoaches Corp. in Wellesley, MA